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How Freaky Did St Cloud Get for Valentine’s Day?

"I'm here to see Debra. Is she ready?"   (NeatherRealm Studios)
“I’m here to see Debra. Is she ready?” (NeatherRealm Studios)

Nothing helps that freak flag fly like Valentine’s Day. And nothing expresses your love for someone like tying them up and whipping them until they shout “NAPOLEON DYNAMITE!”

``Napoleon Dynamite'' Makes History!
Don’t judge my freak flag, and I won’t judge yours… (Getty Images)

So what makes St Cloud “thirsty” on Valentine’s Day? I briefly talked to Jeremy at Pure Pleasure in St Cloud. The results were…mild?


Some like it rough?   (Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Some like it rough? (Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

1) Lingerie

It’s kinda a gimme, isn’t it? Breaking out the negligee for a special occasion, like Valentine’s Day or St Patrick’s Day. Whether or not you include shoulder pads (see left), it’s great to wear something a little more difficult to take off than regular underwear.


Lemmy approved!   (Lovehoney)
Lemmy approved! (Lovehoney)

2) Vibrators

Sometimes a non-vibrating phallus just won’t cut it. Have you tried dumping a gallon of Red Bull down his throat? The rigor mortis willOKAAAY that went too far. A little marital aiding never hurt anybody, right?


Oil Boom Shifts The Landscape Of Rural North Dakota
There goes your mom’s lube delivery! (Getty Images)

3) Lubricants

Slippin’ and a slidin’. Lubricants can help you get down to business sooner, or even prolong The Business. Flavored lube can be fun, provided the cleanup doesn’t take longer than The Business. Make it count!



Lumina Stock, ThinkStock
Lumina Stock, ThinkStock

4) Massage Oils

These are different than lubes. How? Have you tried using massage oil as lubricant? It can be bad, m’kay. One is meant for internal “use,” the other is for external friction to get into the internal.


Ian Gavan/Getty Images
Ian Gavan/Getty Images

5) Handcuffs & Blindfolds

Sales of bondage supplies tend to surge every time a new 50 Shades of Grey book/movie/trailer/thought gets released. St Cloud chooses safer options of handcuffs and blindfolds. But have you ever been handcuffed to the bed while blindfolded, and then abandoned? Asking for a friend…

So there you have it. Kinda bland. Not everybody wants to go full-on GWAR in the bedroom, and that’s okay. I mean, have you seen GWAR?

Provided for reference (Getty Images)

Looks like fun to me!

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