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How to Prevent Your Gadgets From Spying On You

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Need an underwater camera? Throw yer nuker down there! (Getty Images)

Is nothing sacred?

Yes. ‘Nothing’ is sacred.

It turns out that ‘smart’ vibrator you bought your wife so you could go fishing more was spying on her while she was pretending to be with some A-list stud.

Who knew he could act AND vibrate?   (Michael Buckner, Getty Images)
Who knew he could act AND vibrate? (Michael Buckner, Getty Images)

As if that weren’t enough, her post-self-coital bag of microwave popcorn set her up to be spied on by the very thing that was nuking her favorite snack.

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Being surveilled is now a part of life. We’re constantly being tracked, watched, listened to, smelled (safe assumption), and judged by technology and the fiends using said technology. So…are you just going to take that lying down?

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Wouldn’t you rather take *this* lying down? (Getty Images)

Fake d*ck jokes aside, here’s how to protect yourself from your own gadgets.


Ways to Prevent Your Gadgets from Spying on You

 

1) Cover your webcam.

But that’s what your crazy uncle with the foil hat does, right? He’s on to something (besides either being on something or needing to be on something). Hackers can spy on you through your computer’s camera. A simple piece of tape will do (gaffer’s tape or painter’s tape is less likely to leave a sticky residue, just in case you want to use your camera. Freak.).

While you’re at it, disable your computer’s microphone, too.

 

2) Check your smartphone’s tracking settings.

The apps on your phone can track your location. Apps from big companies like Facebook and Google have adequate security. Apps from smaller companies likely don’t. So go into your phone’s settings and update the tracking preferences on all of your apps. Some may not work without tracking enabled, so you need to decide if you really need that app.

 

3) Keep your phone (and the apps) up to date.

It’s a royal pain in the ass to update the OS on your phone. You can’t use it while it’s updating, and what if something happens on Facebook and you miss it OMG #FOMO.

Well, updates often include security fixes, because hackers won’t come across a current app and thing “Well, they got us! Guess we’ll have to get real jobs!”

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Back to the straight and narrow for me, see? Nyah! (Getty Images)

Nope. They figure out how to hack that app. So updates to apps and operating systems are constantly released to deal with that.

 

4) Don’t use the voice-recognition feature on your phone

“Hands free” options on phones mean that they’re always listening, waiting for you to ask it a stupid question, like “Hey Siri, what’s a choad?”

NSFW
NSFW

Hackers can take advantage of this feature and listen in on you. The Amazon Echos and Google Homes have this feature, too. As much as you want to be like Captain Picard and not have to press a button to get an electronic device to answer you, you should be using the mute button on those devices when you’re not “on the Enterprise.”

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Find more tips at Time.com

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