Rules For Calling Into A Radio Station – Jade’s Pet Peeves
I've been working behind the mic for 9 years now, and just like the doctor, I've heard it all. While these rules may seem a little harsh, take note; for every person breaking the “rules” there are thousands of you that we enjoy meeting and talking to! Good chance you are not the subject of the following rules, but I just wanted to share some crazy people with you! As you know, the world is full of weirdos.
Some people may consider us someone they would be friends with, I mean we are pretty cool people (at least I'd like to think so!) They feel they know us personally; but we are just voices speaking to you from a speaker.
Our job is to play what you want to hear when you call up and request a song. Our job is not to listen to life stories that they feel the need to share with a DJ, unless we are asking you to call us with your problems. Now if we ask how you are doing and you are a regular caller, good chance we think you rock and will ask about your life; if we don't, please hang up before you become the weirdo!
We enjoy getting to know you as a listener and friend, but just like you don't want to hear a rundown of our day, we probably don't want to hear yours either. If we have become telephone friends, a little chit chat after a song request is great, but if you keep us on the phone for more than one song or two, we are going to have to break-up. We have a lot to get done while we are here at work, much like you do too when you are at your job.
I can't tell you how many times I get phone stalkers. Maybe it's because I'm a chick and they wanna “get to know me better.” Good chance I don't want to know them in that way. That leads me to rule number 1 for calling into a radio station…
We Don't Want To Date "You"
As sexy as some people think they are, calling up a DJ and asking them on a date is just weird. It’s worse than a blind date. They may be a very cool person and one that we may want to date, lets get to know each other first before you jump out there with the drinks. The only people that ask the DJ on a date are creepers. You don’t want to be known as the station creeper do you? Probably not. That goes for emails too. To just randomly email them asking them out on a date, very odd!
If we meet at an event and we get to talking, great! But don’t just randomly send me an email saying hey let’s meet for drinks. I get both of these on a weekly. They may mean no harm, but we are protective on who we let in our lives (just like you are!) and a stranger with just a voice or an email address is not one of them. It’s like a 20/20 investigation. The DJ goes missing after a caller asks them on a date.
I did meet a listener once for a group “date.” He was the guy that would have chopped me up into pieces. Tried to tell him nicely that he just wasn’t my type followed me to every bar that night. Don’t be that guy. If you are, there is a reason you are single. While they may be harmless, there are the stalkers that we try and avoid. Relationships beyond the mic…that leads to rule number two...
We Don't Care About Your Sex Life
When you have an orgy in your bedroom, or a marathon sex session, if the first thought that comes to your mind after the orgasm is to call the DJ to tell them how amazing it was, you need to check yourself. When calling, have both hands on the phone. We can hear your breathing...
You may laugh at this but it happens, a lot. Again it goes back to the idea that we are friends because they hear our voice daily. We don't care how many people anyone hooks up with or how many diseases you caught. Please save that information for your Doctor.
We are also not someones therapist. Yes life sucks and they just wanna give up some days, but don't call the DJ for advice. WTF do we know about fixing problems??? Hell, we are all mental to a point ourselves. If we can't fix our own problems, how are we going to fix theirs?
Venting to someone is good; but do you really want someone you don't know knowing all of your personal information? If we are beyond "Yea I'll get your song on next" level, yes we are here for you on a friend level. But don't expect us to help like a prize can! That leads me to rule number three...
We Are Not Your Personal Prize Closet
When life hands you lemons, don't beg the station for tickets to an event either. Yes we may have contests sometimes asking for you to tell us why you should win said tickets. But that doesn't mean we want to hear what lemons life is handing everyone every day of the week.
Yes it sucks when medical bills get way out of hand or something tragic happens. We want to help, but there are hundreds of people needing help too. Plus, how is winning concert tickets going to bring back their grandma who just died from cancer and they are paying for her funeral? Yes, it may get them out of the house to have a good night and get their mind relaxed, but they still have to get to the concert, pay for food and drinks, and maybe a concert T-Shirt. Now if they are struggling with their bills to begin with, how is going to a concert going to help? Use the money you have wisely.
While we want to help everyone out, it's just not always possible. We only get a limited number of tickets and we have to keep it fair for everyone that wants to win. As a side note, we don't have tickets to EVERY concert that comes to Minnesota. It would be sweet if we did, but we don't.
So when we tell you we don't have tickets for that show, it means WE DON'T HAVE TICKETS! It does not mean share the tear-jerker story to get us to confess we have the tickets and we are waiting to give them to someone who is having a rough time. Again, it means WE DON'T HAVE TICKETS. When we do have tickets, sometimes we ask for you to stop by a location to get registered which leads me to rule number 4...
We Are Not Someones Personal Shadow
When we are at businesses for events we are there for a certain amount of time. We love it when you stop by to say hi and chit chat about music, the station, who we are, blah blah blah. It's a chance for you to get to know us better and for us to meet you, the listener.
At the same time, when someone stays at the event for the entire time following us around like a lost puppy, it's annoying. Unless we are having a great conversation and we tell you we don't mind if you stick around, by all means keep us company!
We not only have to make the business happy while we are there, we have other listeners that want to chat as well. When someone is at every event, talking to us about random crap we could care less about (someone once talked about their phone and a vibrator in the same sentence...I kid you not...) other listeners don't get a chance to say Hi. If we walk away on our phone saying we need to take a call, it's our way of saying leave us alone!
We are not fish in a tank. We are not your play toy. Yes, we enjoy meeting listeners, but I'm sure you have better things to do. Do you really have three hours of your day to waste talking to a DJ? I hope not. A few minutes is all we ask. Unless we are at a bar, then let's party! When you keep us from doing our job at an event or even in the studio it leads to rule number 5...
If We Don't Answer The Phone, We Are Busy
We can't answer every call that comes into the studio. If we did, we would never get any work done. Yes, it's annoying when you call a radio station and they don't pick up the phone. Maybe we have esp and we know the person calling is the crazy phone stalker and we don't want to be stuck on the phone for 20 minutes. Maybe when you are trying to call in and request a song we are on the phone with said stalker.
We are human and have bladders and we may be taking a dump. Or we could be talking with our boss. So please don't get pissy when you call "a million times" and we don't pick up. We don't know what you do all day at your job, you don't know what we do all day.
By the way, if you don't get us on the phone and you post a message on facebook or the website, we do see the feedback you give us and let me say, this next rule is very important.
Our Station Is Not Your Personal iPod
While it is great that you listen to REV a lot, it's even cooler if we are the only station you listen to. You may notice that songs get played more than once a day, that's how radio works. You may notice we say "NEW" when it's off of their 2010 album. It's considered "New" because the band just released it as a single for radio stations to play. They may work that album for two, three years before making a new one.
You may not like every song we play either. Guess what; NEITHER DO WE! We play music for hundreds of thousands of people, not just ourselves or you. While it may seem we speak to you because we play some awesome music, not every song is going to be your favorite. You may not understand why we play what we do at times, but here is a secret...someone else listening likes a certain song and they called to request it so we played it. Much like when you call and request a song and we play it for you, someone else may not like it.
We all have our own opinions on what bands are the best, which is great! We love hearing feedback on bands you like and what songs you want to hear more! But, for every Nirvana hater there are 100 more that love Nirvana. While some may say they won't listen to the station until we stop playing them; we would rather lose one listener versus the 100 that will continue to listen.
Haters hate on. You are not the only one listening, but if you are listening, thank you.