The Official KEY Rear End List

Time to reflect on 2010.

BEST CONCERT – Cage The Elephant (impressive) and Stone Temple Pilots at Roy Wilkins Auditorium last August. Joint was half-full so they let us move down front. STP was tight. 

Weiland was lucid, sharp, clear-eyed and in fine voice.

It was still a good show, though.

BEST MOVIE – “The Fighter”. Boxing is my thing. It has Mark Wahlberg as Irish Micky Ward, a tough fighter out of MA. He was known for his punishing left hook to the body. I’ve taken my share of those.

In the end I said no thanks and went on to find other ways to abuse my liver.

Honorable mention to “True Grit”. Why does Jeff Bridges keep portraying me in 30 years?

BEST SONG – “Sex Is Good” by Saving Abel. Great rhythm, beat and arrangement. Makes me think; the last time I fell in love, the sex was the best I ever had. She was amazing. I wanted to spend eternity with her…what the hell was her name again?

BEST TV SHOW – The new “Hawaii Five O“. But I think for next season they should just kill off all the characters except for Grace Park. And just have the camera on her the entire time. And have a lot of cases where she needs to take showers and sunbathe. And show her surfing in the blue and yellow bikini she had on in the pilot.

Excuse me, I’ll be right back.

K.

BEST STUPID THING I SAID ON THE AIR – Lots of contenders here. I seem to recall saying something last August about a professional sports franchise located right here in Minnesota having a titular season which would culminate with them contending in a contest that would ve viewed by millions around the world on a Sunday evening.

Oh well, Swarm, better luck next year.

BEST NEW ADDITION TO ST. CLOUD – The one hot girl they hired to work in the sales department. And White Castle if they ever get it finished. And that killer hispanic MILF who moved in down the hall and always says “Hey Canelo” when she sees me. I have no idea what it means. Probably an insult. Oh well. Any MILF attention is good attention.

Happy New Year. It’s my bad-luck holiday so I’ll be at home. Maybe  the MILF will come over and watch “Hawaii Five O” with me.